Bagel, Babybel, Meatloaf - Tallulah & me |
Goat shows
are a community unto themselves. I have made some of my closest friends at
these shows, standing around the ring, watching goats (and people) parade past.
But how did we all end up here? The most common path is through our children.
However, I have made a shocking discovery: it’s all a ruse.
Katherine
tells me about it all the time: “I fielded another call today from a Mom
looking to buy goats for her child for 4-H.” The Moms (and sometimes dads) visit
the farm with young children in tow, and the gig is up. 99% of the time
the kid is more interested in _______ (fill in the blank, anything works: the
gravel from the driveway, the rooster, the livestock dog, the flowers, the mud
puddle – anything!).
Meanwhile, The Mom is loving up the baby goats like nobody’s business. That’s not to say
that the kids don’t like the goats.
They do. But, they are not obsessed with the goats like their Moms. And it’s always The Mom, not the dad.
I can point
to my own life-experience to support this hypothesis. I refer you back to my
post, "A Goat Named Henry," about my first goat (Here's the link to the blog entry). As you will recall, my mother’s boyfriend
bought her the baby goat from the petting zoo at the County Fair. He bought it
for my mom, not me! He was no dummy,
‘cuz he knew I wasn’t really into the goat like my mom was.
OK, that is neither Gilbert nor his new owner, but you get the idea (the goat's name is Bertha) |
A year ago,
we sold a bottle-baby goat named "Gilbert" to a family with young children. The kids
liked Gilbert well enough, but The Mom fell madly in love with that little
animal the minute she laid eyes on him. The Mom still sends us photos of Gilbert, sometimes with children, but usually with herself.
So, I’ve
been asking around at goat shows over the past year: “How did you get involved
with goats?” I have found only ONE person who “got into goats” outside of their
children. Even she had children at the time, but I think those kids put their
feet down early on and say “no thank you” to goats. That’s OK, because The Mom has gone on to become the most influential Pygmy Goat breeder in the
country for the past 30 years! (I’m not naming names, but you know who you are!
xoxoxoxo)
Everyone
else has "come to goats" through their kids. But how many of those kids actually
tugged at their mom’s coat sleeves, begging and nagging, “Mom, please! I really
have to have a PYGMY GOAT or I will die!”
Elizabeth & Fluffernutter - looking thrilled (not) |
Or, maybe: “MA, all the COOL kids at school "do" goats …
I NEEEED one (or 30).”
Here’s the real scene:
Mom says, “What after-school activities do you want to sign up for this
year?”
Kid says, “I dunno.” (If they say soccer, run, just run the other direction very fast).
Mom: “How
about 4-H? We have some space in the yard. You could learn about
responsibility!” (and run away again if kid says, “I’d rather have a hamster.)
In reality, The Mom is thinking, “I need a warm, fuzzy, goat-friend RIGHT NOW! And my (current
and/or ex) husband/partner/boyfriend will think I’m bat-poop crazy if I tell
him. So I’ll use the kid as an excuse. Shazam!”
Kid says, “Meh.” (If kid is older than 8 years old, he/she is thinking, “Can I go back to Minecraft now?”)
Mom says, “How
about pygmy goats?! You don’t have to sell them at the fair. It’ll be
a pet! Come on, this’ll be FUN!”
Kid says, “Whatever.”
Then The Mom
starts making calls and the dad ends up building pens in their backyard. Faster than two shakes of a goat's tail, The Mom is toting goats around in the back of her SUV/mini-van/station wagon/Prius.
Some kids
come to Pygmy Goats through other 4-H projects. For example, maybe they started
in sheep or market steer or pigs (excuse me, it's "swine"). All of those animals are significantly larger
(and less animated) than Pygmy Goats. The family goes to the fair and sees how much FUN
the Pygmy Goat people are having, and they “get into goats.”
Or, rather, The MOMS see how much fun the OTHER MOMS are having at the
Pygmy Goat show and they start hatching a plan…
Tallulah's best hairdo |
We
Pygmy-Goat-People do have the most fun. I have spent time at shows watching the
other livestock groups interact with each other and show their animals, and I
have yet to switch to their projects.
Once they
are into the goats, the kids participate…for a while. The little-kid
showmanship class is sometimes like watching a “Toddler and Tiaras” episode:
hair primping (sparkles!), boot dusting, animal grooming, outfit envy, frantic
coaching (“look at the judge and smile!”), lip gloss (!).
Cash & Tallulah at a goat show in February |
I admit it,
I am a recovering “goat show mom.” There should be a 12-step program for
that…but that’s another blog post. Poor Bella was my “target.” She and I came
to goats out of the horse show world, which has even MORE primping than
“Toddlers and Tiaras.” We were “in it to win it.” I cared very deeply how she
placed in her goat showmanship class, and so did she (competitive little soul that
she is).
Bella & Pupa at the very beginning of their long winning streak |
She would
enter the ring, smile plastered on her cherubic face, and I would break into a
cold sweat with performance anxiety. Over goats. Yeah, I had it bad.
And like
most other kids at the Pygmy Goat shows, Bella lost interest in showing goats right
fast. She liked the competition aspect, but had zero interest in the actual
goat at the other end of the leash. Anyways, I could go on and on about being a
goat show mom, and maybe I will…another time.
The point
I’m trying to make here is that the kids lose interest in showing goats, but
the moms stick around. The Moms eventually drop their ruse of being there “for
the children.” The children are at home on sleepovers, soccer tournaments,
dances, parties, etc. etc. Typical kid stuff. Turning sixteen is usually the
final blow.
But The
Moms … The Moms are in it for the long haul. At the goat show, we often see the grown-up “kids” return with their own families – strollers and toddlers in tow. Ooing and
ahhing over the goats.
Mama and (mostly) Grown Baby |
Some of the
“kids” even get back into goat showing, “for their children” – of course. And
so, the cycle begins again.
For the
record, here, I do know people that started showing goats as young children,
with their moms of course, and who did stay with the goats for lo’ these many
years… decades actually. And the really funny part is that The Moms are still in it with their adult children! I can think of FOUR
mother/child (not all daughters, ya’
know) pairs off the top of my head. Not naming names… you know who you are.
On the
other hand, I can think of many, many more solo Moms (and a few dads) out there
still showing goats after all these years. No kids in tow. Alone. In the goat
show ring. Driving their trailers and setting up their pens all by themselves.
But not
really, and this is the magic of Pygmy Goats: they bring people together. “We”
see the same people--our “Goat Show Friends”--month after month at various
fairgrounds around the great State of California. “We” watch them get new jobs,
new houses, new trucks, new trailers, new (grand)babies, new spouses. “We” hold
their hand when their dog dies, when they get their knees replaced, or when
they are diagnosed with cancer. “We” laugh and cry through each others’
relationship “transitions.”
Friendship |
“We”
experience our lives with these people who we might never have met any way
other than … yes, you guessed it, Pygmy Goats. They are wonderful little
creatures, but the community they engender is magnitudes better.
As I near
my own crossroads moment with goats, this topic weighs heavily on my mind.
Katherine is a junior in high school, and even though she loves her goat farm
(dare I say that she LIVES for her goat farm?) she will go off to college in two years. She swears she’s going to a college within easy driving
distance of home and will come home every weekend to manage her goats (and schedule
kiddings for school breaks).
I know
better, AND I wouldn’t want that for her. She needs to have the “full college
experience” – especially weekends.
So, David
and I will be home alone on “Katherine’s” little goat farm. What on earth am I
going to do? Will I stay with it (feeding, mucking, grooming, showing) or will
I insist that she sell all but a few of our favorite goats?
No more
goat shows? What a dreary, sad, lonely thought. Good thing I have four more
kids after her!
And, you
know what? I’ll keep going to goat shows even if the kids won't go with
me. My ‘peeps are all there.
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