Abstract Iguana

Land Iguana

Katherine and I are on an expedition in the Galapagos Islands. Time is short – it won’t be much longer before she decides that I am intolerably “uncool,” so I figured we’d better do something memorable while we still can.

First, however, I apologize for not having any goats in my blog. There aren’t many left here, after decades of successful eradication efforts (non-native species and all). So, I’ll use local wildlife to illustrate my thoughts.

Watching the animals reminds me of child rearing and growing up in so many ways. Here we go: Abstract Iguana.

Kids need down time, 

without a hovering parent.

Galapagos Fur Seal

We came across this baby Galapagos Seal (which is really a sea lion, but no matter) while walking through a lava field. It was lolling around in a tidal pool, letting the waves roll it any which way. Floating on its back; under the water/over the water. Its mama was out hunting fish somewhere. It saw our group coming and called to us with a long “maaaa.” It wasn’t anxious, stressed, or bored. Just saying “Hello.” Then it went back to lounging. Human children could do that a whole lot more: less scheduled time, more time amusing themselves and appreciating the world around them – without mom telling them how to do it.

Sometimes we hang on to things that don’t work anymore.

Flightless Cormorant

Here is a Flightless Cormorant. Its ancestors flew to the islands, but over the centuries these birds lost the use of their wings. No worry, though, since they dive for fish in the surrounding ocean. Those bitty little wings don’t particularly help them dive, nor do they hinder them either, so the wings stick around.

Some ancient instinct tells those silly birds to hold their wings out to dry in case they need to fly somewhere. Well, hello, those stunted wings aren’t going to fly anywhere. So why do they do it? Habit. Makes me think of all the habits that I hold onto that aren’t going to help me … Over time these birds may even evolve to have no wings at all – just let it go.

Help others.

Marine Iguana and Lava Lizard (I think)

Sometimes the little guy needs a leg up to get a better look around. What’s the harm? No need to be so competitive all the time. There’s enough to go around.

Stay close.

Marine Iguanas

I admit it, I’m projecting my own emotions onto reptiles that surely do not experience human sentiment. In this photo, the top marine iguana is trying to absorb some of the heat from the bottom iguana. But I’d like to think that they are snuggling up … I never thought that I’d use “snuggle” and “iguana” together. But there you have it. Anyway, you should snuggle (if for no other reason than to get warm!)

Wear sunscreen.

Marine Iguana

My kids have heard it a million times: wear sunscreen. But I’ll say it a million more times. And don’t forget the sunscreen on the lips… or you could be this fellow. Kiss kiss.

Trust yourself.

Blue Footed Boobie

No one taught this bird what to do with her eggs. She didn’t go online to watch a “YouTube” video to learn when and how to turn them. Heck, her mom wasn’t there to give advice (good or bad). Instinct. She just knows what to do, and she does it without weighing the pros and cons. We should all be so lucky to trust our own instincts to guide us in parenting. Humans have been raising their children for thousands and thousands of years, and somehow we haven’t gone extinct yet. So, trust yourself.

Children are pests.

Blue Footed Boobies

Children can say the most painful things to their parents (and bite your foot, like this Blue Footed Boobie). But it’s all part of growing up: developing coping strategies for stress, acting out in a safe environment, getting attention. And Moms/Dads roll with it. Like this bird, we will still feed you at the end of the day.

Dads can be good “moms,” too.

Frigate Bird and baby

Frigates take turns watching the fledglings. So should we. This chill papa Frigate has everything under control. Does that baby look stressed to you? I have known a lot of moms who were unwilling to hand over the proverbial reins to the dads to watch the kids, even though those same moms were desperate for a break. Like my point above, dads have instincts, too, and can rise to the challenge.

Let them go.

Flamingos

What’s the point of all this parenting if it isn’t to get the kids OUT of the nest? We have 18 or 20 or 25 years to give them all the skills they need to be productive adults. We can teach them to cook, do laundry, pay bills, be compassionate, be adaptable, laugh at themselves. Even better, the kids can figure it out on their own under the safety of our roof, watching our positive role modeling (like Dads doing childcare). Then they need to go put those skills into practice – and we need to let them go.

We all evolve.

Oh, yes we do. Evolve, however, suggests that these changes take generations to manifest. Not so. You can make a conscious decision to break a bad habit or try new things. I, for example, have learned to snorkel. Baby steps, I know, but for someone who has lived much of her life stunted by anxiety about so many things (amusement park rides, speaking on the phone, public speaking, cold blooded creatures), that’s a big deal. To venture out into the big, big world with my 16-year-old daughter to explore lands unknown, above and below the water--with swimming reptiles for God’s sake!-- … well, people change.

photo by Stella Rose

(p.s. Katherine took all the photos!)