Monday, February 22, 2016

Goat Mogul



It’s inevitable. The first question out of someone’s mouth when they hear that we raise goats is: “Do you milk them for cheese?” Nope. Then they look at me with a puzzled expression: “Then, um, what do you dooo with them?” The implication is, of course, do you make any money with them.  I am here to say, without a doubt, NO.  At least not the way we “doooo” it.

Every Goat in the USA, ca. 2007
According to the USDA, there are a lot of goats in the country. In 2007, there were over 3 million of the critters. I’ll leave it at that.  There are lots of reports out there – goat censuses and the like – but it’s pretty dry reading and I have two antsy toddlers nipping at my heels right now. So, onward.

Most of them are actually meat goats. With the rise of certain religious and ethnic groups in the USA, the demand for goat meat has skyrocketed. At the local farmers markets we routinely see “goat” booths, promoting their local, sustainably raised, lean GOAT meats. (On a side note, I wonder what wine goes with goats? A thought for another day).


But still most people think of dairy goats. The dairy section of every major grocery chain around here has at least one kind of goat milk. And I’m not even going to try to talk about the variety of goat cheeses.

This is about as close to milking a goat as
we get. Cherry here is getting a little
extra hit of her mom's milk from a syringe.
So, I guess it’s not out of the question to think that we would do dairy goats or meat goats even.  But we don’t. So what exactly do we dooo?

We breed, show and sell. Which means virtually nothing at all to someone who has not yet had the privilege of witnessing the spectacle of a real live goat show (yee haw). Of those three categories, two are definite money-losers.





On average these days, with the drought and all, a bale of alfalfa hay costs $18-$20, and we go through about a bale a day.  Then there’s grain, which runs about $19/bag, averaged out over the wide variety of feeds we use to make our own special mix (sunflower seeds, goat chow, “dominator,” calf manna). Mineral salts are also $20/bag. I’m seeing a theme here…


In a week, we go through about a bag of grain and about 1/3 bag mineral salts. And don’t forget the livestock dogs. I lump them in with the goats for food.  We have three of them and they each weight 90-125lbs – they eat a lot.  Like 25 lbs. a week.

Next, veterinary expenses. Supplies include syringes, needles, antibiotics, wormers, vaccines, parasite control. Fortunately, Katherine does most of the doctor-y things herself (vaccinating, dis-budding, castrating, drawing blood, worming, etc.), but we still have to call in the professionals sometimes for complicated kiddings, ultrasounds, initial diagnosis of illness, etc. She tests the whole herd annually for the trifecta of goat scourges (CL, CAE, Johnnes), overnighting blood samples up to Washington. Ironically, veterinary expenses are on the low-end of the goat expense scale (who woulda’ thunk?).


Farm expenses, on the other hand, are way up there. This year was particularly rough because we had to buy three livestock dogs, neuter them all, and then patch each of them up after the initial dog fights.  Things have settled down with the dogs, so I’ve pulled out their medical expenses from my accounting. Phew.



Supplies need replacing periodically. For example, the other day a livestock dog was fishing for the mosquito fish in the water trough and cracked the rusty trough, so I had to rush out and buy a new trough for $100. At least the automatic waterer survived the attack. And those pesky waterers need replacing all the time (I recommend the metal ones, by the way – well worth the extra $2). Dogs chew on buckets; collars and leashes go missing. Goats need microchips. 

Next, goat shows. We go to 6 shows a year, sometimes more, sometimes less. I won’t go through the set-up expenses (i.e. FARM, TRUCK, TRAILER, tack trunk, stanchion, hay bags, blower, clippers, buckets, leashes and collars, grooming supplies).  

Let’s just assume that you are up and running. But the recurring costs keep coming: entry fees, goat registrations, hotel, food, gas, spending money, etc.  We stay at el-cheapo motels and eat at “low brow” establishments, but, still, the bills accumulate.

Marketing is a drop in the bucket: the website had some initial costs but Katherine maintains it herself. Business cards are virtually free, as are the banners and signs.

Then there’s the part about actually buying and selling goats. Last year, Katherine bought nine goats and sold… 4 goats. Hmmm, that seems backwards now that I see the cold hard numbers (this year is better already, though). The truth comes out! But, to her defense, the goats that Katherine bought were both brood does and show does (and a breeding buck… and a wether) who are already pregnant and kidding out little cash crops as I type.

So, brace yourself, here is the summary with the actual numbers from my Quicken records (yes, I am an anal Capricorn and proud of it):

OK, why in the hell do we do this??  Besides the fact that goats are cute and fun and we really like our goat show friends? It’s a great way to teach kids about real life business management.

Besides learning to drive a trailer and get herself out of bed every two hours to feed a baby goat or check a pregnant mama, Katherine has learned first-hand what it takes to run a business.
  
http://tonyenterprises.com/branding-consultant/
She has learned what it means to differentiate her “brand” of goats from all the other goat breeders out there: she breeds for temperament as well as competitive, breed-conforming animals.  

She has figured out that good customer service keeps people coming back; for example, if she doesn’t have a specific goat that someone is looking for (color, age, etc.), she will call around to her other breeder pals and find someone who does. Customers appreciate that kind of service and come back to her for more animals. In fact, Katherine has a one-year waiting list of people wanting to buy her goats = supply and demand, customer service.


She contemplates pricing and how to position herself in the marketplace.  If she prices her goats too cheaply, people will think they are inferior animals; but if she prices them too high people will balk.  So, Katherine walks a fine line, always evaluating the price point of her animals compared to other animals out there.

We talk about the costs of running a business (see table above…) and she calculates how many animals she would have to sell to break even at any given price point: about 53.  And if you need 53 goats to sell in a year, how many brood does must you have? Assuming each goat kids twins once a year – because we don’t run a “puppy mill” over here! – then she would need about 26 brood does.  I think she needs to raise her prices… I’ll bring it up at dinner tonight.


Katherine designed and maintains her own website and creates her own graphics. She has teamed up with the one of her besties who is a professional photographer (at the age of 15) to improve her photos. 

She even carries business cards on her person at all times, because you never know when someone will want to buy a goat (= sales).

She manages her own bank account and has learned all about tracking her expenses and income (= accounting). She is masterful with spreadsheets.

All of that and she is 16. Yes, goats are a money-losing proposition right now; but by the time Katherine is 26, she will be a Goat Mogul in her own right. 
www.cbpygmies.com




Sunday, February 14, 2016

True Love on the Goat Farm

(Another guest blogger today... David! Just in time for Valentine's Day.)



It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting butt-down in the middle of a goat field… and it’s raining.

I’m not sure how I got here…. Well, I know how I got HERE.  I was busy feeding the goat herd while A.G. and children were off to Disneyland.  I was trying to avoid being herded by Google, the overprotective mama Great Pyrenees, when I slipped right down into the muddy field while carrying a bucket of grain.  Crap! And only feet away from the safety of the heated barn.  The herd was acting like they were on a field trip to a corn chip factory.  The sleepiness of the morning was interrupted by the chewing of cud and the loud growling noises coming from the rumen of each goat.  The growling noises were coming two to three times each minute… whew, good healthy herd. 

"So So" is trying to avoid the mud, too

The sounds of the feeding frenzy were suddenly interrupted by my cell phone ringing.  Yes, my connection back to the civilized world.  The caller asks for a bottle of magnesium citrate for a constipated hospital patient.  In the words of Charlie Brown… aaugh!
With this fast-forward to my world of reality, I again ask the question, how did I get here?

I grew up in a small town in Northern California.  Went to College then on to Medical School.  I have been living in a beautiful old Edwardian home in the downtown area in Wine Country.  My son just graduated College.  I have a Havanese puppy named Hatch (from old Hebrew word that means “Beginning”). 

(he might look like this... if
he didn't live on a farm now)
It was truly a new beginning for me and it has been almost 17 months since by world changed forever. Many thanks to my 21st century Yenta, Neil Clark Warren and his “29 dimensions of compatibility” and development of the eHarmony website.

It was about that time that I opened an eHarmony account and posted a profile, not quite knowing what to expect.  I’m not used to talking about myself, let alone broadcast it out on the airways for everyone to see.  As I began to complete my profile, I realized right away that my Driver’s License photo just wouldn’t cut it as a profile picture.  I settled on a selfie after talking myself out of a picture with either my dog, or my son... not bad ideas, since I was hoping to meet someone who likes animals and who had some experience with raising children.

yep...
So, I submitted my picture and completed the various profile questions and with profile completed, I started the process of looking to begin the rest of my life, to meet my Princess Charming (“This time, this time, everything  everything will be alright.”)
Well, after a few days, I received a post from A.G. Not only beautiful, but she had the world’s greatest smile.  We shared many things in common – graduate school education, financially secure, and, she has dogs and cats and “has kids at home.”   At the time, my son was 22 years old and out of the house.  A.G. was younger than me and I figured that meant she must have a child or two just finishing High School.  No problem, I could do that.

compatibility...goat style
We got through the “Quick Questions” section without difficulty.  Then we had to provide each other with “Makes or Breaks.”  The “must haves” include questions of kindness, communication, affection, loyalty, and if you want somebody who is emotionally healthy.  The “Can’t Stands” gives you a chance to tell the other person that you can’t stand qualities such as infidelity, laziness, poor hygiene, racism or use of illegal drugs…. Really?

A.G. and I were looking pretty good together after these two sections, and then we addressed the “Dig Deeper “questions.  This section lets you give more complete answers to questions you either choose from a list, or ones that you make up.  Question:  What is your relationship with your Mother?  Bad question, mom died a number of years ago.  Have to avoid that one.  However, I enjoyed asking the question, “What items do you have in your refrigerator?”  Clearly, if the answer is tofu, lemongrass and soymilk…. we can stop the process right there. A.G. had all the right answers, lettuce, chicken, yogurt and wine… my kind of gal.

The email responses were followed by a phone call and then an agreement to meet.  I arrived early and sat down at the table.  Well…. wended up closing the restaurant down that night.  And, the good night kiss… her foot popped just like Mia in “The Princes Diaries.” 

I did get to hear about the children (SEVEN!) and appreciate her love for animals (GOAT HERD !!! Cats !!! Dogs !!!)  When we met and I realized real soon that I did meet my Princess Charming.

On our third date, we had dinner with her daughter, Elizabeth. It was a typical night out with a pre-teen.  Before dessert was served, I correctly (I guess) answered the questions, ”Are you going to sleep over tonight?”  And “Are you going to marry my mother.”
I got to meet the other children a few weeks later.  I picked A.G. up at her house and I think that was the first time realized the immensity of the situation.



Still, it didn’t scare me off…

Not even the questions from the teenager when she asked about the size of my male organ… swirling through my brain is the knowledge that size doesn’t matter and that physiologically, size can vary due to arousal time, time of day, room temperature, etc.  TMI.  This is where my experience having had a child came in handy with regards to how to appropriately respond to this question.

A.G. also has a list of rules that she lives by, only three on her list, though.  Rule #2, “You cannot un-know it.”  That notion lives in my mind as I continue to get questions like the one noted above.
So, how is it that I find myself, sitting on my butt, in the middle of a goat field?


I fell in love with a beautiful, honest, loyal, intelligent woman who has a code of honor that she lives by; who is raising seven wonderful children who are admirably independent and have strong sense of family; and, who has 39… wait, 40… wait, 41 pygmy goats and a herd of other four-legged creatures whose names I’m still trying to master.

I think back about another rule follower, television persona Jethro Gibbs, who has about 50 rules that he follows.  Rule #39, “There is no such thing as coincidence.”  Rule #8, “Never take anything for granted.”  And, my favorite, Rule # 5, “You don’t waste good.”  He also said, “Never second guess yourself in a relationship and life.”
So, I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that A.G. and I finally met and I’m not going to take this opportunity for granted.  And I’m not going to waste great. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.

www.fanpop.com

Friday, February 5, 2016

"Toga the Goat" has hit the shelves!

Amazon.com has it!


Oh, happy day! "Toga the Goat" is hot off the presses. As some of you may recall, Toga began as a blog post back in August. My kids had so much fun with it, that I turned it into a children's picture book. It's available on Amazon in hardback, paperback and ebook. I hope you enjoy it! 



Stay tuned for more adventures. Toga will be visiting the doctor (= vet), going into town, and (maybe) going on an expedition.  I have to think about how to get Toga through customs and in a carry-on bag, but I have some ideas....

Toga has a couple new friends, too: Gogo, Ogo, and Gigan-toga. They will all appear in the blog and on my Facebook page very soon. Keep an eye out!  

Ogo and Gogo just got back from Disneyland...more later




Monday, January 25, 2016

You Know You are From a Goat Farm When...

Tallulah & Maury









1. You share your playhouse with goats.











2. You have at least two pairs of muck boots: one dressy and one highly practical.




3. Your “cootie catcher” is actually a “goat kidding forecaster.”  

1 dead kid; 3 live kids; 4 live kids; 1 live
kid; no kids, 2 live kids, 2 dead kids;
3 live kids, 1 dead kid; 4 dead kids.







4. You learn to drive young – very young. 


5. You take your DMV driving test in a Suburban (with towing mirrors, but no trailer -- this time).



6. You are competitive about how much hay you can carry.


Wego (alive and well, thank you)

7. You don’t ask you what is in the crate. (You know it may or may not be alive -- circle of life).







8. You have a dog as a babysitter. 
Mhysa
   
9. You have your own account at the feed store, where everyone knows you by name and recognizes your voice on the (landline) phone.

Brocco's Old Barn, our favorite

10. You use YouTube to figure out how to perform veterinary procedures, NOT how to put on makeup. Then you buy all your supplies on Amazon.com.


www.amazon.com

11. You keep goats in the kitchen.


12. Your best friend is a goat.


Me & Henry